(Notes: While this post is written from my straight male perspective, you can translate the basic idea into how to understand men if you are interested in men.)
Here’s how: talk with women and ask them questions with curiosity.
It’s a simple thing to do, but I bet not many guys try to learn about women from women.
If you are wondering why you should understand women better and try to do so by this way, I’ll tell you why.
It is relevant to you no matter whether you are currently looking for a relationship or not.
If you have better understanding of women… if you speak the language of women, I bet it’s more likely that you’ll have better relationships with them in general. Relationships as friends. Relationships as lovers. It doesn’t matter.
What’s great about talking with women and asking them questions is that it helps you get better at communicating with women.
I believe one of the biggest fears guys have is that they don’t know how to have an interesting conversation or that they might run out of things to say. The reason why they might be afraid of these things is perhaps because they want to impress women and they believe that’s how it should be.
Instead of trying hard to come up with something witty to say or to impress women, just ask interesting questions… questions that help you understand women better.
Hint: Let them enjoy talking about what they want to talk :-)
It just occurred to me right now, but the fact that you are asking such questions can make these questions interesting, especially if you are completely honest and tell them that you want to learn more about women.
It may take you a while to get the language of women. No worries. Just like you can’t learn Spanish in 10 minutes (i.e. being able to have a philosophical conversation with a Spanish speaker in Spanish), you can’t learn the language of women from a 10 minute conversation either. But if you keep sharpening your understanding of women, it only gets better.
So, start talking with them now. Talk with many of them. Keep in mind that every woman is different as well. In fact, you can simply ask them about themselves – their experiences as being a woman.
By understanding the language of women, you’ll be able to become better friends of women. You will be able to eliminate your prejudices, hidden misogynistic ideas, fears, intimidations and frustrations about women.
Now you know you have a choice. Whenever you feel you want to say “I don’t understand women”, you can talk with your female friends and ask them about women.
Just out of curiosity, if you are a woman and reading this post, I want you to tell me, in the comment section below, whether someone asked you such questions recently. Say, in the last few months.
What do you want to ask women or men about? Write and share your thoughts in the comment section below. I’ll answer questions about men from my own perspective. If you are a woman and happy to help answering questions about women, please do! (Thanks!)