On celebrating relationships

Think of someone you care and love. Who connected you with that someone either directly or indirectly? Now, think of that connection maker and ask yourself the same question: who connected you with that connection maker directly or indirectly?

You can keep asking the same question again and again for as long as you like.

After you’re finished with going through your memories, thank everyone who lead you to that person who you care and love.

If you love yourself, you can pretty much thank everyone and everything that led you to where you are and who you are.

If you will go through the same process described above in a year or 20 years, why don’t you thank everyone and everything that will come to your life from now on?

If you choose to be rad and awesome, you will be, because everything and everyone will help you go further. Don’t feel bad about becoming rad and awesome, by the way. You don’t need to be modest here, because going for what you want and being arrogant are different, if that’s what you are worried about.

It’s OK if you find it difficult to thank everyone and everything literally; you can still be aware of this attitude and live with it as much as you can. You don’t need to be perfect as long as you show up.

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How do you celebrate relationships? If you liked what you read, please share it with others who might enjoy this post!

Photo: Andrew Stawarz

Brief updates – 24 Nov 2010 Edition

This brief update will be about two web initiatives, NaNoWriMo and Reverb 10, as well as my favorite post on relationships written in my new favorite blog.

NaNoWriMo

I am not fisnished with NaNoWriMo yet. Right now, my novel is around 40,000 words and I believe I can manage to write another 10,000 words by the deadline. I learnt more lessons from NaNoWriMo since the last time I talked about it.

I’ve been using this novel to talk about my ideas and experiences. These ideas and experiences are expressed as dialogues by characters or monologues of the protagonist. I did a similar exercise for Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold, but somehow I’ve been exploring my internal stories with this NaNoWriMo business more than with the Vein of Gold. I guess the thing is that this novel I’m writing is partly fictional, while a piece I wrote for the Vein of Gold was factual.

It might be the case that great novelists did the same thing for their novels and I was the only person who didn’t know about it. In any case, it’s great that I learnt about this benefit of writing a novel by actually writing one.

It’s easy to write down my ideas in the form of monologue or that of dialogue as a first draft. In fact, I used my novel as a draft for some of the blog posts I wrote during November. I let my characters talk about the core ideas behind these blog posts, and I’m very happy I did that. I might use this technique for future writing as well.

Another thing I learnt is how long I can concentrate on writing for. Provided I use this great application called JDarkRoom and there’s no distraction and I have a vague idea of what to write, I can keep writing at least for 40-50 minutes without taking a break. Indeed, I found that this chunk of time suits me most, unless words are flowing from my creative brain and there’s no reason for me to stop that flow.

I procrastinate a lot, too. But once I get myself going, I can get into writing. So, it seems the best way to beat my procrastinative habit is to start writing anyway. In fact, it amazes me that I came this far without any plot. All I did was just to write without caring too much what I was writing.

I believed I could manage it, and it is great to see that I am actually managing the situation.

Reverb10

After I finished with NaNoWriMo, I plan to keep writing everyday during December as well. I am going to participate in Reverb 10, organized by Gwen Bell.

Reverb 10 is…

“an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. The end of the year is an opportunity to reflect on what’s happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead.”

The participants of Reverb 10 will do both. If you want to spend this December reflecting on your 2010 and getting ready for 2011, Reverb 10 can be a great way to do it. Join the fun!

By the way, I originally got to know about Gwen via Chris Guillebeau. In the early 2009 Chris produced Unconventional Guide to the Social Web and Gwen wrote the main guide in this product. I bought it, liked it, and started following Gwen. When she briefly came to Japan in the autumn of 2009, I met her in person, at a tweet-up organized by Sandra of Japandra (also known as @sandrajapandra). I love the way Gwen is and I totally recommend you to check out her website.

Farnoosh Brock on Why Relationships Matter

I found Farnoosh (@prolificliving) on twitter. I looked at her blog Prolific Living and it became my new favorite blog. In one of the latest posts, Farnoosh writes on Why Relationships Matter. I enjoyed that post, and I recommend you to take some time to read it. The part of the post I particularly liked is the following:

The length of a relationship is not a good measure of its depth or its meaning. Instead, remember the nature of your interaction with the other person, the simple exchange of your mutual understanding, and the lasting impressions you left behind. Let those mark your measures of success when it comes to relationships.

This part resonates with what I believe. If I wrote what I believe without an explanation, it would sound as though it’s in conflict with the above. I believe that great relationships last forever. I don’t mean to say that we keep those whom we have great relationships with physically close to us forever. What I mean is that we keep memories of them and let them live in our hearts; in that metaphorical sense, I believe that great relationships last forever. When it comes to the amount of time we spend together, these relationships may be brief. There might be only an hour of interaction between you and the person you build a relationship with. But, if that interaction is deep and meaningful and if that interaction creates amazing moments for two of you, that relationship is a great one that will last forever.

I will live my life as if those who let me create beautiful memories with them are like gifts to me. They help me create my art, after all.

I will write more on relationships and related issues in this blog as well. Let’s make this world more romantic together.

Photo: Pseudo Victor