I want to measure my success by the way I put myself forward into this world rather than by the reactions I get. It makes sense to me. There’s no reason why other people should be responsible for judging my success. It might take me for a while to be able to act on this way of thinking, but I know where I want to go and that means I simply need to show up and to keep going towards that direction. I will get there eventually.
What I find helpful about this way of thinking is that it helps me dream big. I can stop limiting my dreams according to the likelihood of my achieving these dreams, because whether I achieve these dreams becomes irrelevant to my success in this framework. What does “achieving dreams” anyway? Let’s say a dream is like a certain point you want to reach. Let’s also assume that achieving that dream is to get to that point. If you manage to reach that point, then you’re successful. If you don’t, you’re not. If you want to be successful in achieving your dreams, you better take a safer path. Keep your aims low. You may not achieve great dreams, but you will be able to enjoy your small success. That’s what might happen with the results-based way of thinking. How about the other one?
Let’s keep the above assumptions: achieving a dream is reaching a certain point you want to reach. What you want is not necessarily reaching that point, but putting yourself forward into this dream you dream. Whether you get to that point is not a factor that judges your success, but it’s how intensely you work on it that matters. The bigger the dream, the more intensely you will need to put yourself forward into the world. Since there’s no need for you to reach those points, there’s no reason why you should aim low.
In fact, in this way of thinking, you better aim high, and once you’ve started walking towards your dreams, then you’re already successful.