I’ve started reading this book called Women’s Infidelity: Living In Limbo: What Women Really Mean When Say, “I’m Not Happy”. It’s a 9 chapter book and I’m up to Chapter 3. Since the very beginning of the book, though, it’s been intriguing and insightful.
I’ll write more about the contents of the book when I’m finished reading it. Right now, I want to talk about some of the thoughts and questions I came to have through reading this book.
If you’ve been following me and reading my posts for a while, you probably heard this before, but I love women. So, reading this kind of books about women written by women is an interesting experience for me. I prefer to talk about these things with women in person, but books are informative too. The reason why it’s interesting is because I can learn and understand more about women; learning and understanding more about women help me create more curiosity and compassion towards women.
Misogyny, I believe, partly comes from the fear and ignorance against women. I don’t think I was a misogynist before I started being more curious about women, but I do think I had some misogynistic ways of thinking and beliefs that sneaked into my head under the name of culture and through my own upbringing.
If you are a man who wants to have better understanding about women, I recommend you to read this book and talk about what you read in the book with your female friends. If you want to learn about women, talking with women is the best way: they are the best teachers about the way of women.
Another thing I came to think about through reading this book is men’s insecurities. I’m guessing that a number of men have insecurities about themselves and probably the core of these insecurities is related to the desire to be approved… or even loved. It sounds plausible to me that men in the past made such a system that they could use to control women in order to cover up their own insecurities. Of course, the reality would be more complicated than this simple hypothesis, but as an outline, it makes sense to me. So, yeah.
Thinking about men’s insecurities gave me an insight about what it means to be a better man and what it means to be strong. I think being able to face your own insecurities and to do something about them is one of the keys. Not by covering them up, not by manipulating others into thinking that you are strong.
The first step, as I see it, is to admit your own insecurities and then you need to choose to be excellent. Just by making such a choice, I believe one can become a better man than the man who used to be afraid of their own insecurities.