The Badass Project

I’ve been following Johnny B. Truant since I took his Question the Rules last year. Question the Rules is a business course for punk rock minded people and it comes with high quality audio modules as well as interviews with successful entrepreneurs. Johnny is great at storytelling and asking interesting questions as one can easily tell from his interviews.

Recently, Johnny started this thing called The Badass Project.

Let me quote how he defines “badass”.

badass (bad · ass) n., pl -es 1. Someone who, despite being dealt a significant physical disadvantage, lives an extraordinary and inspiring life. 2. A person who doesn’t “cope with their situation”; so much as transcend perceived obstacles and make them irrelevant. 3. Badasses define themselves by their accomplishments, not their limitations.

At the time of writing this post, there are 3 interviews uploaded to the site and you better check out these badass interviews.

Kyle Maynard: Athlete and MMA fighter

I’ve listened to Johnny’s interview with Kyle Maynard earlier this week and really liked it. Kyle is an athlete and mixed martial arts fighter, who has “two arms that end at the elbow and legs that end at the knees”.

While I enjoyed every part of the interview, my favourite part is where he talks about his experiences in wrestling.

Kyle started practising wrestling since he was in 6th grade and he lost his first 35 matches. But he had a specific goal of not getting pinned and tried to achieve it and tried to achieve it in his matches. So, instead of losing by getting pinned, he lost his matches by points.

If I tell you that this was my favourite part, you might wonder why that’s the case.

Because, after this part, he tells us that he’s started winning when he’s in the senior year in high school and tells about the importance of believing in yourself.

These things sound more impressive than losing 35 matches, right? Surely they do. But I was more impressed by the fact that he was patient and he specifically focused on not getting pinned by his opponents.

It’s not about winning, it’s about not losing

His patience and goal resonate with me, because one of the most important lessons I learnt from practising Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is the following attitude.

If you can’t win, don’t lose.

Perhaps you can’t win for the time being. Perhaps your opponent is bigger and stronger than you. So, if you want to beat your opponent, you will need to make him or her tired. In order to do so, you must survive first. You must not lose.

If getting pinned in wrestling is like getting knocked out in boxing, then the goal of avoiding getting pinned is very important. If you can always avoid getting pinned, then you can eventually work on not losing by points as well. Once you’ve become unbeatable, it will be much easier to focus on attacking.

Just because you are not winning, it doesn’t mean you are losing. You need to be patient. You need to keep fighting. You need to keep writing shitty first drafts. You need to keep showing up.

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If you enjoyed this post and want to subscribe to this blog, now is a great time to do so. I’m offering a 30 minute brain storm Skype session for free for the first 50 subscribers. See details here.

Photo: mscaprikell

There’s something about being positive

I’ve been thinking, for some time, about what it means to be a positive person.

People often describe me as a positive person, and while that may be somewhat accurate because of the way I put forward myself and what I believe, I’m inclined to say that I’m neither positive nor negative.

I’m just a person who knows where to head to and I make sure that I’m in the right direction and get closer to my destination.

I don’t need any extra energy pumping – well, this is how I would picture a stereotypical positive person, although probably those who describe me as a positive person don’t really have this image of a positive person. What I would assume from this kind of people who need extra energy pumping is that they may be trying too hard in staying positive, when they don’t need to try anything at all.

I wonder if such a try-hard behaviour is a form of self-deception. That is, by trying hard to pump extra positivity into themselves, I wonder if they are denying what’s happening to them or telling themselves that they are who they actually aren’t.

Three Women by Boston Teran

Few days ago, I finished reading Boston Teran‘s novel called Three Women. It was written in 2004, and as far as I’m concerned, the original English version of it hasn’t been published. I read its Japanese translation. There’s a French translation available as well.

Eve the protagonist of the novel is hearing-impaired and struggles to find her place as she grows up due to her condition and her familty situation. She eventually gets into photography and it becomes the main way for her to connect with the world with sounds. Eve’s mother Clarissa supports Eve, but she struggles too – she gets treated badly and beaten by her husband, who deals drugs. One day, Clarissa and Eve meet Fran, who is originally from Germany and later becomes the most reliable supporter for Clarissa and Eve. Even though Fran is a strong woman, she has a painful past and often relies on alchol to save herself from the pain of the past.

A lot of terrible things happen to Eve, and she does get knocked down by these terrible things, but she manages to stand up again. You can pretty much find a structure like this one in any other stories, and it didn’t have to be this story for me either, but I happened to read this book while I had been thinking about positivity and it made me think more about this concept. (Having said that, I really enjoyed reading this novel. I wish it had been published in English too.)

On being a positive person: What I think

For me, being a positive person is not about taking a look only at the good stuff and ignoring the bad stuff. But it’s about accepting the good stuff and the bad stuff, and then turning the bad stuff into the good stuff.

If you ignore the bad stuff, then I believe you’re deceiving yourself by treating the bad stuff as if it doesn’t exist at all.

You can focus on the good stuff and I believe we should choose to focus on the good stuff, but we shouldn’t ignore the bad stuff. On one hand, acknowledging the bad stuff requires your courage and by using your courage you will be stronger as a person. On the other hand, ignoring it leads you to be some kind of denial about what’s happening to you. Being positive and being in denial don’t seem to fit with one another.

These thoughts reminded me of my favorite TED talks by Scott Stratten and by Brené Brown, which I introduced in this post and this post. Check them out and see how they interact with your view on positivity.

So. This is what I think about positivity. Now it’s your turn to tell me what it means for you to be a positive person. Any thoughts?

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If you enjoyed this post and want to subscribe to this blog, now is a great time to do so. I’m offering a 30 minute brain storm Skype session for free for the first 50 subscribers. See details here.

Photo: Caja Mediterráneo

A while ago, I stumbled upon some quotes by Michelangelo, a famous Italian Renaissance man. These quotes resonated with me, because they describe how I want to live my life very well.

The way I want to live my life is to live it as my art. I do it by minimizing stuff and maximizing experience. I let my curiosity guide me. I seek beautiful moments. Let me focus on beautiful moments here.

I’m in search of beautiful moments. I want to use them as the main components of my life – my art. The way I find them is simple. I choose to believe that there are beautiful moments waiting for me to witness and to experience them anywhere, any time and I choose to let my curiosity guide me. Attitude and awareness – they help me find beautiful moments in my life.

Now, back to Michelangelo. What does this Renaissance man teach us beauty and life?

Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.

Everything you experience has a potential of leading you to beautiful moments. Whether you see it as a stone or something that has a great opportunity depends on you as the sculptor of life.

The marble not yet carved can hold the form of every thought the greatest artist has.

You might say that it’s just a stone no matter what Michelangelo says or I say, but it’s more like choosing to see what’s inside the stone. If you assume it’s just a stone, then it’s very likely that it will be just a stone for you. But if you assume there’s something great inside, it’s very likely that you will find something beautiful in it.

The sculptor’s hand can only break the spell to free the figures slumbering in the stone.

If you don’t get that beauty out of the stone, maybe no one ever will. Whether a beautiful figure comes out of the stone depends on you.

Carving is easy, you just go down to the skin and stop.

What we need to do is to show up and to do our carving. Be open to beautiful moments and celebrate things around you.

Another fun assumption to make, by the way, is that you are already surrounded by beautiful things and all you need to do is to notice them. This assumption applies to other things in life as well. That is, you’ve got enough resources, smart solutions, great people and amazing opportunities around you. If you assume that these things are far away from you, you will look for them in a distant place and may not see what’s around you. There are stones everywhere and perhaps these stones have the beauty inside them. Take a look at them and see what you can find.

If you want to live your life as your art, that’s great. In case you are worried that it might be too ambitious for you to make it as your life long project, here’s another set of quotes from Michelangelo.

I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.

It’s not greedy or arrogant to desire more than you can accomplish. It’s great to be aware of what you desire rather than holding yourself back and not even think about what you want. Do you know what you want, by the way?

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.

I believe most of us are pretty good at achieving what we aim for. Those who aim high get that goal, and those who aim low get that goal too. Aim high and start acting. If you show up everyday, there’s no way you can fail.

I believe you’ve got something beautiful inside. I also believe it’s my duty to get that beauty out of you and to set it free. That’s how I make my life richer and how I make my art more colourful.

How do you create your life and your art?

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If you enjoyed this post and want to subscribe to this blog, now is a great time to do so. I’m offering a 30 minute brain storm Skype session for free for the first 50 subscribers. See details here.

Photo: badjonni

New subscription system

As I announced in a previous post, I’ve implemented a new subscription system on this blog (or Aweber for those who know what it is). You see the subscription thing in the sidebar? That’s it. You can sign up from there.

This system gives me much more control over managing a mailing list, and I can send not only automatic blog updates, but also group e-mails to subscribers too.

No, I will not use it to spam you, but I will take advantage of that system to send you subscriber-only newsletters from time to time.

Why should you subscribe to this blog via this new system? That’s a very good question. Let me tell you about what you will get from subscribing to this blog.

When you subscribe to Mostly Amused, Sometimes Absurd via this new system, you will get…

• New posts delivered to your e-mail address
• Extra news letters that are only available to subscribers
• Discounts for my future products
• A 30 minute brain storming Skype session (Limited to the first 50 subscribers)

Cool?

More on brain storming sessions

The first 50 subscribers will be able to have a 30 minute brain storming session with me for free.

How can I help you? If you have a specific question that you want to brain storm with me, that’s great. I’m happy to brain storm with you about finding your goal and small actions to get closer to that goal. Alternatively, we can talk about specific areas that I write about on this blog, such as creativity, curiosity, romance, relationship, martial arts, language learning and so on. I might be able to help you with other topics, but I might not be. We’ll sort it out via e-mail initially.

After you’ve signed up, you’ll receive an automatic thank you e-mail. I’ll send you another e-mail manually to thank you and to arrange a session with you. If you are not interested or want someone else to have your slot, that’s perfectly fine, too.

You’ll need to have a Skype account and be able to run Skype on your computer. But I guess you are familiar with it and I don’t need to tell you about it.

If you are new to this blog, the posts below will give you a solid idea of what I write and who I am.

• 27 lessons on how to live your life as your art
• Connecting 4 dots: how to live a romantic life and make the world more romantic
• Take back your creativity
• Dare yourself to do something you fear and change your life for the better

• What does it mean to have an awesome life… for you?

• Curiosity meets romance: the art of being a hopeful romantic

• Pegasus and the Muses, or why your childhood dream is not ridiculous and how you can achieve it

Your life is your art. My life is my art. Your art + my art = our art.

If you enjoy reading this blog, I want you to live your life as your art and I want you to live a romantic life. After all, my mission is to live my life as my art and to make the world more romantic – but I can’t do it on my own, because amazing people like you will add something great to my life and my art. Your life is your art. My life is my art. Let’s combine your art and my art together. That will make our art.

I find it meaningful to help you get closer to your goal, whatever that might be. You still have to do something by yourself and for yourself, and what I can do is limited, but I still could set you on fire.

So, I really want to connect with you, and for you to connect with me, making comments, writing to me and interacting with me on twitter are great ways to do so.

Don’t just watch me make my own art, but I want to see you create your art, too. That’s how this whole thing works.

Let’s create.

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Photo: superk8nyc

Let me talk about another thing I learnt from practising Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and how this lesson applies to something more general.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is often noted for its unique focus on ground fighting skills, because other styles of martial arts hardly focus on such skills. There are some that share similar techniques, but they are not as focused or detailed as in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

I do think that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is great for this focus, and I enjoy learning ground fighting skills.

But, there’s something more to this style of martial arts, which not many people outside the style realize. Also, this thing is what makes me appreciate Brazilian Jiu Jitsu more. In fact, I believe this something is much more important than a unique set of techniques that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu offers. It’s a way of thinking. It’s about how you fight.

A mini lesson on how to fight

Seriously, the best way to fight is to not fight at all. If you can simply walk away and do something more creative and loving, then that’s much, much better.

Even if you have to fight, this attitude will help you – is there anyway to win the fight by somehow walking away it – by not playing my opponent’s game? If there’s one, that’s great. You’d be way ahead of your opponent.

But how do you play your own game? That’s simple – you do your own things and never let your opponent does what he or she wants to do. If you are much more skilled than your opponent, then you can use your skills to make it happen.

Sometimes, though, even if you are more skilled than your opponent, it’s possible that your opponent is much bigger and stronger physically than you. Or worse, your opponent might be stronger than you in terms of techniques as well. What should you do?

Survival first

Here’s what Brazilian Jiu Jitsu emphasizes – survival first. You focus on surviving from every attack your opponent does to you. In order to do that, your first mission is to find the safest position where you can have a rest, but your opponent cannot. Your opponent will get tired eventually. When your opponent is so tired that you can dominate him or her easily, that’s the time for you to finish the fight.

Survival first. It’s such a simple way of thinking, but highly effective.

The world vs. you

So, you want to be remarkable and to do something epic. You want to dominate the world. (By the way, here’s A Brief Guide to World Domination by Chris Guillebeau. You can read it for free. I highly recommend it.)

Let’s apply what I talked about so far to world domination. If you can walk away and avoid this fight between you and the world, that’s fabulous. Don’t play that game the world plays. You create your own world. (Or alternatively, realize that the world needs you.)

But what if you have to face the world and… those sent by the world, like gatekeepers, agents of non-change and whoever that gets kicks out of dragging you down?

Think of survival first. Find the safest position you can find.

By the way, it doesn’t mean you should hide in your bed. That place is not as safe as you might think.

This might sound counter-intuitive, but I bet it’s much better to bring yourself up to somewhere so high that they can’t reach you. Start doing your own epic things and I believe that will create a distance between you and those who – frankly – don’t matter to you.

Take risk of doing what you truly love despite voices that say otherwise and it will get you into such a safe position that they can’t dominate you.

In the next post, I will introduce my free 30 minute brain storm session project. If you want to have a free 30 minute brain storm session with me, then come back to this site on 4 Feb 2011 and sign up for it.

Thanks always for reading this blog. Don’t let the world dominate you. Don’t let anyone stand in your way.

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Photo: Smabs Sputzer