Know What You’re Looking For and Don’t Be This Guy

Here’s a true story.

Once upon time, there was this young man. He kept himself busy with his life and he liked what he had been doing.

But he realized that his love life was not where he wanted it to be. He wanted to meet someone attractive. By attractive, he meant something like being cute, creative, and intelligent.

One day, he went to a party and met someone cute, creative, and intelligent. He had an interesting conversation and interaction with this girl. He did think she was cute, creative, and intelligent, but somehow he was being oblivious to the fact that he had been looking to meet someone like her.

It was only after she had left the party when he realized that she would match the kind of person he had been looking for. He felt stupid.

In fact, he felt so stupid that he realized he needed to do something about his obliviousness.

She was an attractive person that he always wanted to meet and he did nothing. He made no moves!

Many guys wonder, when they like a girl, whether she likes them or not. Since he was being oblivious, there was no room for this question to get in and to bother him. But at the same time, he had no clue about a very obvious hint she gave him.

In many cases, guys misread a woman’s behaviours and gets too excited, thinking that her behaviours indicate that she likes them. But there are cues that only fools would miss, like her saying “We should catch up some time again”.

That’s what she said before she left the party. He said, “Yeah, we should”, without getting her contact details or anything. He didn’t realize that he should have gotten her contact details and that what he did can be interpreted as “Yes, thank you, but I’m not interested”.

He had no idea at that time.

I highly recommend you not to be that guy. I’ve been there, done that, because it’s me. I’m that guy. I felt really stupid. It’s funny now and I’m glad I made this mistake though. After all this kind of mistakes is what slaps my face and to do something about what’s not working in my life.

Here’s some lessons I want to share with you.

1. Know what you want well so you can recognize it when it’s near you.
2. Pay attention.
3. Be socially intelligent (Hint: when people suggest that they want to catch up with you again, it’s very likely that they are interested in you. Of course, there are times when they are just being polite, but).
4. When you make a mistake like this, realize it’s a chance for you to do something about what’s not working for you.
5. Laugh at your mistake and turn it into a lesson.
6. When an attractive girl/guy says “We should catch up some time soon”, don’t say “Yeah, we should” and do nothing, especially when she/he is the kind of person you want to get to know.

I want to use this online space to have a conversation with great people like you. It’s not a place where only I talk to you, but it’s a place where I want to talk with you. So, I appreciate comments from you and let’s get a conversation going.

Have you ever made a silly mistake like this and turned it into a great lesson for yourself? What did you learn?