Have you ever solved a problem by worrying about it? I bet your answer is: no.
Hereâ€™s another question. Have you ever stopped something bad happening to you by worrying about it? Again, I bet your answer is: no.
But no worries.
No worries that you havenâ€™t solved a problem or stopped something bad happening to you by worrying about it. I canâ€™t think of any situation where worrying about things will give you positive results. The act of worrying is tiring. It doesnâ€™t solve problems, but it gives you extra problems in making you feel miserable and tired. Hereâ€™s a solution. Stop worrying by choosing to seek other options.
No worries about the past. We canâ€™t change what happened in the past by worrying about it. Itâ€™s important to learn from the past so you can use what youâ€™ve learned for the future, but forget about worrying too much. If you choose to worry about the past, there are so many things to worry about. Many more than you realize.
No worries about the future. There are things we can control, and there are things we cannot control. Some things are predictable, and some things are not. If you want to make your dream happen, do what you can control and you can predict youâ€™ll be closer to your dream. But you might get run over or you might get shot, and it may be something you cannot control or predict. If you choose to worry about the future, there are so many things to worry about. Yes, many more than you realize.
No worries about the present. It will soon be the past, which you donâ€™t need to worry about. If you are feeling worries, thatâ€™s OK. Just feel them and acknowledge your worries, and do whatever you need to do. By doing what needs to be done, you are more likely to solve something youâ€™re worried about than just worrying about it.
No worries that worries may occur to you even if you understand they wonâ€™t solve anything. Just let them go and focus on something more productive, like doing what needs to be done.
One thing I do is to let go of making evaluations like good or bad. Letâ€™s say something happens to you. You might perceive this thing to be bad in your own sense of the term â€˜badâ€™. Instead of evaluating this something as bad and worrying about it, I would be more concerned about this thing that happened.
For example… letâ€™s say I got kicked in the face by accident.
On one hand, I could make an evaluation about this event, start and keep worrying about what happened.
On the other hand, I could focus on what happened and what needs to be done. I could check my eyes, whether Iâ€™m bleeding or not, whether I have a concussion, whether I can get some help from people around me etc…
The former doesnâ€™t help much in terms of taking care of myself, while the latter would lead to better action.
Like anything else, you need to practice this attitude consistently if you want to get better at letting go of worries and living with no worries.
The key, I believe, is to stop for a second before making an instant evaluation like â€œThis is terrible, and I have no optionsâ€, and to realize that there are things you need to and can do so you can improve the situation and that the act of worrying doesnâ€™t produce anything but stresses that make you feel terrible and pressured. I believe you can choose to focus on something else than worrying about what you cannot control, and making this choice is what you can control about the situation you are in.
If you have worries about love, relationship, confidence, making your dreams happen, getting started, and anything else that I talk about in my writings, feel free to write to me. If there is anything I can help you with, Iâ€™m happy to do so.
No worries. I’m on your side.