What is a romantic relationship?

I got interested in this question recently and I want to share my thoughts about this question with you.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you might be aware that I think a lot about living a romantic life, male-female dynamics, being an attractive person and things related to these topics; and also that my definition of being romantic involves such things as living your life on your own terms, making connections with amazing people around you, and celebrating what your life has to offer.

Given the way I see the notion of being romantic, my answer to the question above looks like the following.

For me, when you have a romantic relationship with someone, you share attitudes, visions, dreams, strengths and vulnerabilities with that person. Also, there’s some kind of mutual support between each other; you and the other person help each other grow. You are willing to learn from the other person and vice versa.

When we think of a romantic relationship, I bet we tend to think of the kind of relationship that involves a sexual relationship. But what I am suggesting as a romantic relationship doesn’t necessarily involve a sexual relationship. Sex is an important part of life, not only as a way of reproduction, but also as a way of giving and sharing great pleasure, and everyone should learn how to do it better, but at the same time, it doesn’t need to be a defining feature for a romantic relationship either.

The reason why I believe a romantic relationship doesn’t necessarily involve a sexual relationship is because you can share attitudes, visions, dreams, strengths and vulnerabilities with another person and support each other without involving a sexual relationship. Having said that, however, I sense that a sexual relationship can help you create a greater intimacy with that person when it’s done right.

Now. I believe that cultivating romatic relationships with people you are curious about is a great way to live a romantic life, because by making deep connections with those people, you are adding beautiful experiences to your life and at the same time you are enriching their lives.

While it may be rare to find people who truly resonate with you (there may be as many as six of them), I believe the best way to find such people is… to start flirting.

The Art of Flirting

A while ago, I read the following tweet on Twitter and I think it’s a fantastic definition of flirting.

My definition of flirting is two people getting to know each other better and showing interest in each other – @AFlirtYourself

Did you think it was going to be something more complicated? Fortunately or unfortunately, it’s really simple.

All you need to do is to choose to be curious about people around you and to express that curiosity to those people.

You might be conditioned to be afraid of expressing your romantic interests and of being rejected. It’s natural, I suppose. But you should know that you don’t need worry too much about them. Also, you can simply express such fears to the person you like when you express your interests in that person.

In fact, if you live a romantic life in which you are curious about things and people around you, you express yourself, and you show up as your authentic self, it becomes impossible not to flirt with people you are interested in!

Of course, some of them may not be interested in you, but that’s not something you need to worry about. Showing up as who you are and expressing your curiosity are your primary tasks when you live a romantic life; responses you get from people you flirt with, whether they are good responses or bad responses, are not as important as completing those primary tasks after all.

Flirting initiates a romantic relationship with someone. When you continue flirting with that person – that is, you continue to try to get to know that person better and keep your curiosity towards that person always fresh and when it’s mutual, you are cultivating your relationship with that person. Flirting in this sense is, I believe, essential in maintaining a romantic relationship.

What do you think about these ideas? Is there anything that stops you from flirting and/or cultivating a romantic relationship with others?

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Photo: ralphbijker